Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
