yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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