i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
