I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize