We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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