I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
