people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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