So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need water and some morals
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
