even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
