bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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