he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
now i know why i became what i already was.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
