I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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