guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
