Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
