Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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