So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
