She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
