never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
