We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
