Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
