It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
