I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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