Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize