would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
