You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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