I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
