Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
