At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
