That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wish my penis had a tongue
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize