I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
