Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
its liver damage thursday
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
