I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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