I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
