you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
