I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is my gift to your gina
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize