I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
