For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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