it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
