I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
