we're blogging at a bar
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
