I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
