Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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