Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
