it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
