I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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