OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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