We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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