Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
