come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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