I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
