I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
