Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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