ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
