She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
