shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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