So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize