I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize