Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
