Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
